Yohanism #40

After reviewing for three make-up quizzes that Yohan needs to take on Monday (after being absent for two days), he suddenly goes into Pirate lingo mode ...

Yohan: "I'm so tired of reviewing Mom.  I need a break. If I was out at sea and I was a pirate, I would make my crew walk the plank for entertainment."

I laugh at the thought.

Yohan: "I feel like sinking into Davy Jones' locker."

Me: "Huh??? What do you mean?"

Yohan: "Davy Jones' locker is the bottom of the sea. That's how deeply tired I am."

I was dumbfounded. ha!ha!

I made this pirate hat for Yohan several months ago using black cartolina for the hat and bond paper for the skull.

 

Yohanism #39

Yohan asked me the following questions ...

Yohan: "What's your favorite mammal?"
Me: "dog"

Yohan: "What's your favorite amphibian?"
Me: "frog"

Yohan: "What's your favorite reptile?"
Me: "lizard"

Yohan: "What's your favorite bird?"
Me: "eagle"

Yohan: "What's your favorite fish?"
Me: "clown fish"

Yohan: "What's your favorite insect?"
Me: "butterfly"


I was in the mood to return the questions ... 


Me: "What's your favorite mammal?"
Yohan: "platypus"


Me: "What's your favorite amphibian?"
Yohan: "axelotle"

Me: "What's your favorite reptile?"
Yohan: "komodo dragon"

Me: "What's your favorite bird?"
Yohan: "condor"

Me: "What's your favorite fish?"
Yohan: "aligator gar"

Me: "What's your favorite insect?"
Yohan: "praying mantis"


After hearing his answers, I have to admit, I don't know what some of those creatures look like. ha!ha!

Yohanism #38

The earlier football game between the Philippines and Mongolia was exhilarating. Adrenaline rushed whenever the ball came very close to the goal. My family cheered as Chieffy Caligdong gave the Philippines its first goal. We were ecstatic when Phil Younghusband gave the country its second goal.  It was a 2-0 triumph for the Philippines.

Here's a funny conversation after the game ...

Me: "Phil Younghusband is so cute!"

Yohan: "Mom, it's not about the looks. It's all about the skill."

ha!ha! I almost died laughing. Good thing Phil is blessed with both. :)

Congrats Azkals! 

Yohanism #37

My parents recently sent me several gifts. I was so overwhelmed with happiness which made me utter ...

Me: "My dad and mom are the best parents in the world!"

Yohan heard it and seemed baffled. He asked me ...

Yohan: "What about you?"

Me: "My parents are kinder and more thoughtful than I am."
 
He touched my shoulder and said ...

Yohan: "Mom, don't underestimate yourself."

Yohanism #36

I volunteered to make pancakes today for snack. I asked Yohan if he wanted to be my kitchen assistant and he eagerly said yes.  I laid out all the ingredients and kitchen utensils on the counter top.

Yohan: "Mom, are you sure you know what you are doing?"

Thoughts inside my head: Ouch! My little boy must be thinking I have no business in the kitchen.

Me: "Of course, don't underestimate your mom."

Yohan: "Ok mom."

Yohan set aside his doubts about my kitchen qualifications as he helped me mix all the pancake ingredients. I heated the pan and made pancakes. I asked Yohan to serve the first pancake to his dad who was upstairs. I placed the pancake on the plate and added some butter and syrup. Yohan took the plate and brought it up. I distinctively heard him say to his dad ...

Yohan: "Special delivery! Pancake from mom. It smells good but it's burned."

Yohan went down ready to serve the other pancakes and I told him ...

Me: "Burned?! It's not burned. It's a little brown but not burned."

Yohan smiled and delivered the other pancakes to our helpers. I reserved the last two pancakes for Yohan and myself. We ate it at the dining room.

Yohan took his first bite and said, "This is good mom. May be you can join a kitchen battle because your pancakes are good."

Thoughts inside my head: Awww, my little boy loves my cooking after all.

But my thoughts were premature because Yohan added ...

Yohan: "But the judges might not like the burned part and remove you from the battle."

Yohanism #35

Yohan: "Mom, I feel cold."

Me: "Just adjust the knob of the air-con so it won't be too cold."

Yohan: "I have a better idea... body warmth."

He climbed on my lap while I was typing on the computer and gave me a tight hug.

Yohan: "I have forgotten how good body warmth feels."

Yohanism #34

I have neglected my blog for so long. I miss blogging and I miss my blog friends. I was inspired this morning to blog because of a conversation I had with my son.



Yohan: " Mom, spider love is tough."

Me: "What do you mean?"

Yohan: "After the spiders marry, the female eats the male. Now that's what I call tough love."

Ha! Ha! I don't know where he got the marrying part but he probably watched a spider feature on Animal Planet.

Yohanism #33 - Yohan in Prep

My son is now in Prep. It warms my heart to see him grow up. Here's a photo of Yohan in his uniform which I took yesterday before the school service picked him up from the house. He said good bye to his back pack and started using his big school bag with wheels. He now has more subjects in school so he needs a bigger bag to carry his books and notebooks.

This year, the school changed the boys' uniform for preschool. It used to be plain blue shorts. Now it's checkered shorts, similar to the girls' skirt.

This is the second week of school. The house still feels unusually quiet and lonely in the morning when my son is in school. I'm always eager to welcome him home when he arrives.

It's funny because there was a time I must have kissed him a hundred times when he arrived from school because he told me,"Mom that is enough kisses for the day." Ha ha!

Yohanism #32

* These are separate incidents.*

Incident 1

I laughed so hard when I saw Yohan trying to coerce the computer to load an online game faster. He was making actions with his hands pretending to be a wizard putting a spell on someone.

Yohan: " You are under my spell. I command you to load. I command you to load."

He had no idea I was watching him. When he noticed me, we both burst into laughter.


Incident 2

Yohan was on the computer while I was watching TV. He suddenly complains ...

Yohan: " Mom, why does your mouse have a mind of its own?"

Ha ha! Apparently, he was having a little difficulty controlling the mouse at that time.

Yohanism #31

When we were at the beach we found a small hermit crab walking along the beach. I hurriedly picked it up and showed Yohan.

Yohan: "Mom, let me see! Let me see! What is it?"

Me: "This is a small hermit crab just like the ones you saw on TV. "

Yohan: "It's so cute! Let me get my pail..."

Yohan hurriedly got his empty pail and filled it halfway with sand. I placed the hermit crab inside so Yohan could observe it. He lost interest in making sandcastles and spent a lot of time looking at the little hermit crab in his bucket.

When it was time to go back, he asked ...

Yohan: "Can I bring it home? I want him to be my pet. I'll put it in the aquarium."

Me: "Sorry, you can't bring it home. It might die. Besides, you can't put it in our aquarium because it needs salt water."

Yohan: "That's easy. I'll get some salt water from the sea and bring it home."

He seemed to have a counter remark to every reason I give him so I decided to tell him a real story...

Me: "You know when I was young, I went to a beach where I saw a lot of small hermit crabs. I brought around 10 of them home. I placed the hermit crabs inside a big jar with salt water and sand I got from the beach. The hermit crabs lived for a few days but they slowly died one by one. I felt very sad when that happened."

Yohan was quiet.

Me: "Do you want that to happen to your hermit crab?"

Yohan: "No, mom. I want it to live. Can you help me free the hermit crab?"

Me: "Sure."

Yohan and I walked away from the crowded area and found a clear spot where we put down the hermit crab. We watched as the tide came and the hermit crab was gone. Yohan looked a little sad so I immediately kissed him and told him...

Me: "I'm so proud of you!"


Related stories:

Feathers in Distress
A Butterfly's Journey
A Butterfly's Journey Part 2

Yohanism #30

Yohan: "Mom, did you know that during the day the cloud is the umbrella of the earth and at night it is the blanket of the earth?"

Me: "How interesting. Where did you learn that?

Yohan: "From teacher."

Me: "That's a nice way to put it. Thanks for sharing it with me."

Yohanism #29

Yohan and I were watching an episode on Animal Planet featuring lions and their preys. Lions are one of the top predators in the food chain but they have their share of ups and downs. The program we were watching showed a small family of lions with very young cubs. A large group of buffalos ventured their way and began attacking the cubs. I hate seeing poor defenseless animals getting hurt.

Me: "Yohan, give me the remote. I can't watch this part."

Yohan: "Don't worry mom. I'll just cover your eyes with my hand."

He did cover my eyes and I waited for that part to be over.

I'm happy to say that all the cubs survived that attack. The adult lions decided to move their cubs to a safer place.

Yohanism #28

I was watching the movie E.T. with Yohan last night. There was a part where the boy named Elliot was about to dissect a frog in class. Each student had a glass bottle with a frog inside. The teacher went around putting a cotton with ammonia in each bottle. The teacher instructed the students to close the lid of the bottle so that the frogs can go to sleep. The teacher was reassuring the students that the frogs won't feel a thing. That was when Yohan asked me what will happen to the frogs. I told him what dissecting a frog means. I made a huge mistake of telling him that when I was a student I experienced dissecting a frog. Yohan got terribly upset. This was the conversation that followed ...

Yohan: "Why did you hurt the frog?! It's part of mother nature! It's a living thing!"

Me: "It was part of my class. My teacher asked me to do it."

Yohan: "Is your teacher a boy or a girl?"

Me: I was puzzled but replied, "a girl."

Yohan: "Bad teacher! I will tell her to stop hurting frogs! She should not have that kind of project ever again!"

Tears began running down Yohan's cheeks. I realized he was too young to understand the concept of dissecting frogs. I tried to lie ...

Me: "I was just joking, we didn't use a real frog. Just a toy one."

Yohan didn't accept my explanation. He was sitting down on my lap facing me. He held my face with his hands and looked directly at my eyes ...

Yohan: "Tell me the truth. Did you use a real frog or a toy one? Tell me the truth."

I was in a hot seat. For the life of me, I couldn't continue the lie I started.

Me: "I'm sorry. OK, we used a real frog. Are you mad at mommy?"

Yohan: "I'm mad at your teacher! She shouldn't hurt frogs."

I did my best to fix the situation. I wanted him to stop crying. He was missing some parts of the movie already.

Me: "Don't cry anymore. You know, the frog didn't feel any pain. After that, I sewed the frog's chest and let him go free." (I lied.)

Yohan: "Really? All the frogs didn't die?"

Me: "Yes. The class freed all the frogs in the school pond."

Upon hearing that Yohan started feeling better. I will be more careful about what I tell my son next time.

Yohanism #27

Sometimes I don't why what comes into my son's mind...

Yohan: "Mommy, I asked God to make me a dragon tomorrow."

Me: "But why?"

Yohan: "So I can have big wings."

Me: "You cannot ask God that. He cannot transform you into a dragon or any animal."

Yohan pouts and says, "If I become a dragon tomorrow I will use my fire breathing power!"

Me: "You know God cannot transform people into creatures or animals."

Yohan: "How about Santa?"

Me: "I'm sorry but he can't. Just think about it, have you seen a real dragon before?"

Yohan shakes his head.

Me: "That's because they don't exist."

Yohan: "Fine. How about a bird?"

Ha! Ha! Yohan was in funny mood. I think he knew all along that what he wanted was impossible. In the end he conceeded. I wonder if he was testing me. :)

Yohanism #26

This happened a few nights ago before bed time.

Yohan: "Mommy please scratch my back."

Me: "OK."

I gently scratched his back for a short while but when I stopped he said ...

Yohan: "Mommy please scratch my back some more."

Me: "OK but I cannot scratch it too long because your back might turn red."

Yohan: "But mommy you have to keep on scratching because the itch reaches the sky."

Ha! Ha! I guess he would have said anything so I wouldn't stop scratching. I checked his back that night but couldn't detect anything that was causing the itch. Good thing after a few minutes, the itch just disappeared and Yohan was able to sleep well.

Yohanism #25

McDonald's Philippines is featuring Star Wars: The Clone Wars toys in Happy Meal. There are 8 Star Wars collectible figures.

A few nights ago, Yohan was playing with his Star Wars Happy Meal toys. He told me ...

Yohan: "I want the red ship to make my collection complete."

Me to Yohan: "OK, I'll ask Ate J (household helper) to find it for you."

Me to J: "Pakihanap naman yung isang Star Wars ship ni Yohan sa lalagyan nya ng laruan. Yung red daw." (Please find Yohan's Star Wars red ship in his toy cabinet.)

J was rummaging through Yohan's toys for around 10 minutes when I asked ...

Me to Yohan: "Where did you put that red ship? Ate J cannot seem to find it."

Yohan: "Mom, it's still at McDonald's. You have to buy it first."

Ha! Ha! I immediately asked our helper to stop looking. All the while I thought he had the complete set.

The day after that funny incident, I got him that red ship. Here's the complete set ...

R2-D2, Darth Vader, Anakin Skywalker, Yoda,
Jedi Starfighter, Republic Gunship, X-Wing Fighter and Millennium Falcon

* The Star Wars toys will be available at McDonald's restaurants up to September 22, 2008.

Yohanism #24

Yohan was anxious to see my x-ray. He first learned about x-ray from one of Barney's episodes but he has never seen an x-ray film yet. I had a recent x-ray and he was excited to see the x-ray films I brought home.

First I showed him my chest x-ray. He was amazed.

Yohan: "Wow, that's your skeleton mom."

Me: "Yes it is."

Yohan: "Can I have an x-ray too?"

Me: "You don't need one right now. I had an x-ray because my doctor told me to. "

He gave me a sad look but he didn't insist.



Me: "I have another x-ray to show you. It's an x-ray of my head."

Yohan: He looked at it for a while then said, "You look ugly without your skin and hair."


More about my x-ray: I had been experiencing shortness of breath and prolonged cough and colds that's why I went to the doctor for a check-up last week. He prescribed some medicines and requested for a chest x-ray and Water's View. It's the first time I had a Water's View. It's actually an x-ray of the facial structure to see if there's a problem with the sinuses. I got the results of my x-ray yesterday. My chest x-ray came out normal but it seems I have some problems with my sinuses. I'm scheduled for a follow up check-up this afternoon and I will bring the x-ray results for my doctor to see. I feel better because my cough and colds are completely gone and I can breathe normally now but I'm still a little worried. I've never been fond of going to the doctor.

Yohanism #23

I have no idea where Yohan got this but he has an amusing way of saying No lately. Take this incident for example ...

Me: "Yohan, it's time for your siesta (nap)."

Yohan: "Double NO with sour cream on top!"

I had my own quick answer ...

Me: "Triple YES with a cherry on top!"

Yohan gave a sheepish grin.

Yohanism #22

My parents brought home some live crabs from the province. Yohan was excited and kept insisting everyone that he wanted to see a crab walk "funny" on the floor. He finds it so amusing that crabs walk sideways. Yaya (nanny) put a long string on the smallest crab and gave it to Yohan. We weren't worried because we knew that Yohan understands that a crab has strong claws and he was not supposed to touch it.

We were busy fixing the rest of the food that my parents brought home when we heard Yohan talking ...


Yohan: "Come Sammy." I knew instantly that he was talking to the crab.

Me: "Yohan, please don't name the crab because he can't be your pet. We will cook it with the others later."

Yohan: "But Sammy is a nice name for a crab."

Jules (to me): "Naku, baka umiyak yan mamya." (He might cry later.)


Good thing Yohan did not cry when it was time to cook the crabs. We had live crabs at the house before so I guess he knew what was going to happen to "Sammy".

Yohanism #21

Yaya (our nanny) is back from her province vacation. She brought home some live crabs. Yohan was so excited.

Yohan: "Mommy, mommy, look Lola (referring to Yaya) brought crabs."

Me: "That's great. We'll cook them for lunch."

Yohan: "I want to see them walk funny first."

Yohan finds it so amusing that crabs walk sideways.